4 Things Parents Should Stop Doing for their Mental Health - Birthday Party Edition
Pressure is all around when it comes to being a parent these days. The Surgeon General even says it’s bad for your health. We already know raising small humans, and taking care of ourselves at the same time, is a never ending feat. AND I’m here to say: There’s something we can do about that overwhelm.
Read on for part one in this series of what parents should stop doing to increase their wellbeing right now:
Say yes to every birthday party invite your kid gets.
You are not obligated to say yes to everything. We don’t have to be everything to everyone.
Do you want your kiddo to have a great weekend and have fun with their friends? Of course you do! Does it have to come at the expense of your time, schedule and budget? Nope.
An alternative? A simple note to the hosts that thanks them for the invite, lets them know you aren’t available and you hope they have a great party. That’s it. You don’t owe them anything or another reason.
The rule in my house? If my kid hasn’t said their name in our house in the last six months, it’s a hard pass.Stress about a party favor bag that is most likely going to get thrown in the trash at home.
If you don’t want clutter in your house, ask yourself why you feel pressured to waste your time and money and send it into someone else’s house.
We know what clutter does to our stress levels.
Most of the things coming home from parties my kids go to are crap. They are cheap or candy and when my kids aren’t looking, I throw them away. There. I said it.
An alternative? A gently used toy or book from your home that your kid wants to share. Throw everything in a basket and let the friend pick one thing before they go home. Your kiddo learns the gift of giving and sharing something they enjoy with others and you have saved time, money and clutter.Allow your kiddo to invite an insane number of kids like their whole class to their party.
More kids = more stress. Where along the way did every party have to be so big? Why do we let our kids make decisions that are not in our best interest?
If we are stressed, our kids will be too. If we don’t want it for them, why do we invite it in for us?
Consider that the bigger the party you give this year, the bigger the party they expect next year. Is that something you want to keep up with?
An alternative? The age your babe is turning equals the number of friends they get to invite.Make sure your house is spotless before you have people over.
The mess in your house is not a reflection of who you are as a human, a parent or house dweller.
Everyone has messes in their house.
An alternative? Care less about what people think. This is a tough one to try on, I know. How about this one: If you don’t care about what other people’s homes look like when you visit because you know yours is messy, do you think others really care about yours?
If someone does care about what your home looks like, they can either A) grab a mop or B) not be able to be a part of your life.
What are your thoughts? I always say to my clients: Take what you like and supports you and leave what doesn’t.
At the end of the day, you know yourself and your family best and you have to do what’s right for all of you.
And by the way: ‘All of you’ includes you in your family.
The good news: A lot of the stress and pressure we feel is pressure we’ve put on ourselves. If you put it on, it means you can take it off.
Hey, I’m Caitlin! I’m a certified health coach and life coach and I’m here to bring sustainable change into your day so that you have the time and energy you need for the things that matter most.
Want more support? Check out my other posts, learn more about coaching here or book a call with me here. You can always sign up for my newsletter, below, to receive these posts straight to your inbox, too!
Let me know if there’s a topic you want to see in this series next!