4 Things Parents Should Stop Doing for their Mental Health - Holiday Edition

Pressure is all around when it comes to being a parent these days. The Surgeon General even says it’s bad for your health. We already know raising small humans, and taking care of ourselves at the same time, is a never ending feat. AND I’m here to say: There’s something we can do about that overwhelm. 

Read on for part two in this series of what parents should stop doing to increase their wellbeing right now (and what to do instead):

1. Think you have to celebrate the holidays the way you always have.
   
   Kids change everything so why don’t we change how and where we celebrate?
   
   I’m just gonna say it: Families and boundaries are hard. I get it. And, if you used to fly across the country three ways every holiday season before kids, you don’t have to do it now. Even if you used to only drive three hours to Aunt Mary’s because you had to, you don’t have to do it now.
   
   Will your mom be mad or your Uncle guilt trip you? Maybe. Is it your job to handle their emotions for them? Nope.
   
   An alternative? Let your family know where and how you’ll be celebrating the holidays and that they are welcome to join you or visit another time during the year. 
   
   

2. Stress about buying dozens of presents for your kids that are all amazing.
   
   What do kids end up playing with at the end of the day anyways? The box.
   
   More things doesn’t necessarily mean more happiness. It can mean overwhelm and meltdowns. Plus, what are you setting your future self up for in terms of success and knocking it out of the park every single year?
   
   An alternative? Four things: Want, need, wear, read. Something they need, something they want, something they’ll wear and something they can read.
   
   

3. Put extra pressure on yourself to make every holiday perfect.
   
   What is perfect, anyways? What does it mean?
   
   You have wonderful memories of your childhood and you want your babes to have wonderful memories of your childhood. That’s beautiful!
   
   Guess what? If you’re going to be there and they get to be with you, consider that you’re already accomplishing the goal.
   
   An alternative? Take a breath for me and ask yourself, what are the top three words that come to me when I think about holiday traditions as a child? That’s the vision for your traditions and how you plan the time together. If your decision involves something outside of that vision… Does it really need to happen? (Probably not. Take a breath and let it go, Love).
   
   

4.  Make sure your house is spotless before you have people over.
   
   The mess in your house is not a reflection of who you are as a human, a parent or house dweller.
   
   Everyone has messes in their house.
   
   An alternative? Care less about what people think. This is a tough one to try on, I know. How about this one: If you don’t care about what other people’s homes look like when you visit because you know yours is messy, do you think others really care about yours?
   
   Do what brings you peace and forget the rest.
   
   If someone does care about what your home looks like, they can either A) grab a mop or B) not be able to be a part of your life.
   
   (Ok this is cheating a little bit because it’s the same #4 from part one but it begs repeating because it’s that important :))
   

What are your thoughts? I always say to my clients: Take what you like and supports you and leave what doesn’t.

At the end of the day, you know yourself and your family best and you have to do what’s right for all of you. 

And by the way: ‘All of you’ includes you in your family. 

The good news: A lot of the stress and pressure we feel is pressure we’ve put on ourselves. If you put it on, it means you can take it off.

Hey, I’m Caitlin! I’m a certified health coach and life coach and I’m here to bring sustainable change into your day so that you have the time and energy you need for the things that matter most. 

Want more support? Check out part one - birthday party edition here, my other posts, learn more about coaching here or book a call with me here. You can always sign up for my newsletter to receive these posts straight to your inbox, too!

Let me know if there’s a topic you want to see in this series next!